Bang, sorry mommy.

Anyone else have rowdy kids? What am I saying, if you don't have a rowdy kid you make me want to cry. Alicia loves to intentionally knock over her brother. She thinks it is the funniest thing in the world. It usually ends up with Levi in tears and a bump on his head. Today she knocked him over while riding HIS zebra scooter. She also threw a laundry basket on him while I was changing his diaper. It makes me soooooooo MAD!!! She knows better!

Alicia also loves to color anything in a rainbow I'll have to take a picture and post it on here. I can't believe the time she takes to color these pictures as she does. Her teachers talk about it too.

Thanksgiving is this week. I have a lot to be thankful for. One of the things I am NOT thankful for is the Facebook 30 days of thankfulness. I want to punch you in the throat. Post one day of 30 things. That is all it takes. OR Post it in a note and tag the 30 friends you want to be thankful for that month.

My house was volunteered this year by my mother in law to host Thanksgiving. I have a bunch of things wrong with that. She insisted on buying table runners, placemats, a serving platter, decorative candles for my table alone. She also wants to buy us hallway tables to decorate.... I DON'T NEED MORE STUFF TO CLEAN!! I can't keep my house clean as it is! Don't give me more places for stuff to accumulate! She has also taken the liberty to plan the entire meal and buy the turkey. WTF am I suppose to do?!?! If she wanted to do this shit we could have done it AT her house and SHE could have cleaned up afterward. UGHHHHHHH. If you want me to host it LET ME DO IT MY WAY.

I have decided that for Christmas, I am asking Santa for a gift card to the liquor store, the deed to a winery or to successfully pull off a weeks surprise vacation that  my husband is planning for my birthday/anniversary.

Oh, and 6 year old boys talk A LOT.

-OALOUT

Are you fracking kidding me?!

I embarked on a new adventure this week. Much less scary than I originally thought. I am watching a friend's son after school for a few hours. He is 6 and he is the sweetest boy ever.

 Alicia on the other hand, loves him to pieces and has started peeing in her panties when playing with him because it is inconvenient for her to stop. ARE YOU FRACKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!? You can play with 13 kids during school with toys that are not yours but you will PEE at your own house!?!? COME ON. NO more regressions. I am SOOOO tired of going through so many pairs of panties during the day!!!!! Night time has gotten much better now you have to pee while playing HOLY CRAP CHILD go buy your own diapers if you want to be a baby. Rob your piggy bank. I have a non-potty trained kid. HE IS AN ACTUAL BABY. PEE IN THE TOILET.

UGH.

I eat turkey I eat turkey, yes I do, Yes I do, Turkey in my tummy, yummy yummy yummy, I eat turkey. (To the theme of where is thumbkin.) You are welcome for getting it stuck in your head too. Mean old preschool.

I haven't been on much for a few reasons (excuses again) When I charge my laptop, my husband steals it to watch Netflix downstairs while he searches the internet. I have also been waiting for this sickness crap to finally exit my house so I can get back to running again. ALSO shark-week still isn't on a fracking schedule yet and I would love to kick it in the face for that.

Levi is officially a walker now (2 1/2 weeks in) and is attempting to run already. I am not like most moms, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE this stage. I love not having to carry them around all the time! Now the talking (back) I could wait for! He can grow up until now, but now he needs to slow down and stay my sweet cuddle monster.

Alicia is learning so much at school its creepy! She came home yesterday singing the theme song from "Happy Days" telling me she knew all the days of the week. NOW that song is stuck in my head. (You're welcome) If not, Sunday Monday HAPPY DAYS, Tuesday Wednesday HAPPY DAYS, Thursday Friday, HAPPY DAYS, Saturday 7 days, Grooving all week with you!!! ((bahahaha))

My husband has informed me that he is surprising me for my birthday for 7 kid free days somewhere doing something! The catch is, I have to find a place for them to bug someone else for 7 days! Let me know if you want a day, or 7. :-)

I am also suppose to talk to my sister about this trip too since she will have to coach a game, possibly two without me.... oops, I should call her now before she reads this.

-OALOUT

Wowzers

Alicia is off from school on Wednesdays. She woke up today, went down stairs and my husband let me sleep until 10!!! HOLY MOLY!!!! He then proceeded to make me breakfast before going upstairs to bed. I think that must have set the tone for today.  My children were well behaved, with great attitudes. The yelling done today was at the dogs. We cleaned Alicia's room, I put her bed up on the top bunk so we will see how sleeping up high does.

I am thankful for my mom and my sister for they came and raided my halloween candy stash and it is now mostly gone (thanks to the chocolate thief Gloria.) 

I don't really have much more to say today, I hate that I am this exhausted today it worries me that I may be getting sick AGAIN. 

-OALOUT

Screw Wine

Today was one of those horrible days that by 5 o'clock you want to scream, cry, kick a brick wall. I know my blood pressure was through the roof because I felt like my eyes wanted to pop out of their sockets. It was a bunch of tiny things of course.

Getting Alicia to pick up her toys and shoes is as fun as pulling the tooth off a chigger. I hate repeating myself. HATE. I do it all day long. 

I tried to make hair bows today. MAJOR FAIL.

Today was Alicia's picture day at school. She was absent yesterday so I didn't get to see the flyer to remind myself so she wasn't dressed in anything special and her hair was down. I didn't get to run today. Or go to the library. My debit card stopped working. That was fun. 

By the time Jon woke up I was ready for straight shots. Screw the wine. Bring on the hard stuff. (Sadly I didn't drink anything, should have... still might...)

I have been training for a 10K in February, which for those of you that know me and how over weight I am might think I'm joking. Nope. I'm not. I've gotten to 2.5 miles per run, moving it up to 3 miles tomorrow. Taking training advice and starting a "long run" habit on the weekend. Trying to figure out how long to start with.

I really wish I had a great neighbor next door that I could hang out with. Or across the street where there is a house for sale. Move in people. Be my friend. I always have wine!!!''

-OALOUT

Stuck in snot

I hate the endless cycle of getting sick and staying sick. With two kids it now seems inevitable. One person gets sick and passes it along, making its way around our entire family and back to the person of origin. Alicia is sick again. She never kicked the runny nose from two weeks ago, and is now coughing, won't eat, a friend brought me popsicles since I couldn't get her to drink anything and is now running a fever. Kid  number one in my bed tonight. I'm hoping Levi will sleep well too, we all need major rest to get this crud out of my house.

Soccer is over YAY! I mean soooo sad. I am not a soccer person. I know Alicia had fun up until the last two weeks where she was just done, but I can't wait for her to be in something I enjoy too. I think gymnastics might be up next. We discussed dance and Karate but I think her attention span and energy level of standing still for a class might be a little too challenging.

Halloween is officially over... Kind of. LOL. Levi's birthday party is going to be a monster bash in December so that is going to be a blast. Its my way of keeping the Halloween spirit going!!

I have no triple A batteries in my house, why would I? All loud and obnoxious toys take double A's, those I have 100 of. No batteries means crapped out thermometer. I was just informed that there "is an app for that" I shit you not. There is, I can't find one that doesn't have an attachment required or doesn't cost 10.00.... but wow.

Off to sleep after downing emergen-c, I'm not a happy sick person. If I can dodge it, that would be fantastic, last time sucked monkey balls.

-OALOUT

Those brave enough

I would like to start off by saying a HUGE thank you to my daughters two preschool teachers. I have loved them all year, and gained even more respect for them today after helping with their fall festival today. Alicia goes to school Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Fridays. The kid size goes between 14 and 6 for those four days. She comes home and is talking about how much she loves her teachers, and they do a fantastic job sending home daily progress reports on what they learned, how much they eat and if they napped. I cannot imagine being a preschool teacher. Not even for a week. Those brave enough I more than commend you, I tip my hat to you and demand that you ask for a raise. Playing 100 questions with Alicia all day is a blast. (If you don't have a three year old borrow one for a week ((LEGALLY PLEASE)) I can't even imagine playing it with 14 kids all day for 5 days a week. These ladies are angels I have decided that I need to win the lottery and give these ladies a huge chunk of it. Kudos to preschool teachers. You have my utmost respect.

The fall festival was a blast, I had Levi so juggling him during his nap time and watching Alicia have a blast with her friends equaled one another out. Seeing her huge smile when she saw me during their parade just made my day. She had no idea we stayed for it. I volunteered to help pass out candy at one of 5 trick or treat stations (which was a blast since Levi knows what suckers are) We wrapped it up, Levi and I met a friend who gave us an amazing amount of boy clothes that I can't thank here enough for. We had lunch with my mom and sister and her friend from Ohio. Went home, fed and changed Levi, put him down for a much needed nap and picked Alicia up from school.

Home from school, played, made a snack, went to Alicia's final soccer practice for this year which was bitter sweet. Her last game is Saturday and hopefully she will feel like playing. I plan on bribing her LOL. Bring out the money!!

Came home ate dinner, at this point Alicia is beyond sleepy and freezing. Bathe her, read her a story and put her to bed.

 Fun day planned tomorrow. Laundry (yay) Pictures, trick or treating at my moms work, and something else I know I have planned but I didn't write it on my calender so I guess I'm just waiting for someone to text me mad saying I stood them up for something. Oh Well. Shit happens.

-OALOUT

Best Present Ever

A day dealing with someone's snot other than your own makes you thankful for your husband waking up and allowing you to take a long hot UNINTERRUPTED shower. We had a good day today. I was able to convince Alicia to watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch Cartoon and she loved it. (Hopefully no more Pingu or Calliou!!)

Going to sleep praying for 8 uninterrupted hours. (PLEASE SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT LEVI, YOU AND I BOTH NEED IT)

-OALOUT

Snotty

Have you ever wondered "Why do my kids act worse when I feel like shit?" I swear that is what it feels like. An army of kids against you. Especially the first two days when you feel like you are the walking dead. Everything seems 10 times worse, Your limit is reached 10 times faster and you want to go to bed 10 hours earlier. I think Levi and I have the same allergies. We always feel like shit together. Alicia falls in the middle of us and Jon. Jon rarely gets any of this crap. I cheated on my healthy eating today I felt so bad. That seems weird but I will probably be paying for it later. 

Church this morning went well. We got there much later than I had planned. (Story of my SAHM life.) I swear before I became a SAHM I was 15-20 minutes early for everything. I was annoyingly early. I didn't know how to be late. If I left "late" I would still be 5 minutes early. Sorry, back to today. Levi was extra snuggly last night meaning he was screaming his head off at Jon and only wanted me to comfort him (Yay Me.) So one of my nights "off" I got to hold a freshly snotty Levi until he was calm enough to suck down a bottle relax and me put him back to bed. I naturally fell asleep on the couch because if I had walked past his room to go upstairs he would have woken up anyway . I let him sleep as long as possible so my alarm wasn't set for church. I wake up to "MOMMY, I'M NOT WET" being screamed in my face. I say good job, when in my mind I'm thinking, you should be because at 3 am when you peed your bed I changed you and your bedding and put you back to sleep dry. Ugh when I'm sick I still wish I could put her in pullups. I get up start getting Alicia ready for church, which Alicia has two volumes, awake and asleep. Naturally Levi is awake too. Get to church, leave church, come home and make lunch...BANG two Grumpasaurs come slapping at my knees. I put Levi down for a nap but can't convince/bribe/threaten Alicia to take a nap to save my life. FINE, Watch Casper, Justin Time, heck watch Cailliou for all I care (I care I HATE CAILLIOU WITH A PASSION) I just need to breathe and blow my nose without being bitten, kicked, or cried on. It hits me, CRAP I have to blow my nose. This is the first indication that I'm getting sick. I never have to blow my nose unless I'm bawling my eyes out, or I'm getting sick. I dig through my medicine cabinet to find the left over pills and prescription strength nasal spray left over from last month when I had the same crap. Might as well hit it hard. (I also threw in a Claritin and a Tylenol Cold and Flu too.)
I do some Christmas shopping on Ebay, holy cow I forgot how nerve racking it is to actually bid on something and wait!! I usually just buy it now because I hate losing. It is now 3 o'clock and Alicia is screaming at me because she wants "Spadaddy" for dinner. I tell her we start dinner at 6:30 and that she can have an apple for a snack if she is still hungry. She throws herself on the floor screaming because she doesn't wait to wait for dinner and that I am mean because I haven't cut the apple that I just told her she could have. I'm ready to join her. Full on temper tantrum, rolling, kicking screaming, huge tears, throwing crap everywhere, and would have if I hadn't felt like shit. I hate how fast this crap hits me.
Fast forward 7 or 8 fits, Jon wakes up early (THANK GOD) comes down stairs, I start and finish dinner. Everything is ready the "Spadaddy, Garlic rolls, and sauce" and we don't have any freaking drinks. I volunteer to run to the store (HECK YES I GET TO BE ALONE IN MY CAR) I drive to CVS, buy drinks, (FORGOT THE DAMN WINE) diapers, formula and icecream. Turn my music as loud as it will go and drive the .25 miles home. OOPS I bet Jon was startled when he turned my van on to go to work LOL. I don't think I turned it down. Bahahaha. Come home, my Spadaddy is cold snotty Levi hasn't stopped crying since I left, Kahlua (one of two dogs) is in the trash, Alicia has spilled her water and is now cold. Looks like I made the trip too quickly. Get everyone fed, dishes away, husband goes to work and kids are in bed and asleep by 8:15. 

Mom freaking wins.

-OALOUT

What did you just say!?!

I know it is never a surprise when your kid says something so off the wall embarrassing that you turn beet red and want to crawl in a hole and burst into laughter, especially when you know she probably learned it from you. It really began after I had Levi and she told the world that "Lebi (how she said his name) eats milk from mommies boobies, I use to eat from her boobies too." Ugh sadly I got use to her telling everyone that, as much as you can get use to it, I would just laugh along and tell everyone how observant she is.

Then it comes to how ridiculously funny she is... we were driving in the car and out of NOWHERE, while I was on speaker phone with my sister Gloria, she yells "MOMMY!!!!!! TRIGGER (my dog) POOPED ON MY FINGER!!!!) WTH!?!?! My first reaction was, what is now on your finger child? When did he poop on your finger? If you made this up, Where did you get the idea?! I never got an answer on that one.

Now how intelligent she is. Thankfully, she got my husbands brain. This kid amazes me everyday. Every person she meets doesn't believe that she is only 3 years old. She learns so quickly it is scary!! That is one of the reasons we decided to put her in preschool at 3 instead of 4. Alicia comes home and tells me everything she has learned. Her recent favorite is Chapel, she comes home and tells me the story they learned in Chapel. We've been talking about Adam and Eve at home and she was telling my husband what happened to them in the car, that the snake said, "come eat these apples" and "Ave and Edam" did and God yelled "GET OUT YOU CAN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE." I should record her telling stories so I can show them to her when she gets older. We were doing our chores before bed and she recites the Pledge of Allegiance word for word. I stopped and said "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY??!" She just smiles and says it again. I figured they said it in school but had no idea that she knew the entire thing!

-OALOUT  

Holy Thrift Store Needed

We decorated our house for Halloween today ((SUPER EXCITING!!!) however, we now have a much bigger house on the exterior to decorate than at our old house. A run to the thrift store is a major must if possible this weekend. I'm also very sad that I'm not going to be able to make my spiderweb tunnel here at this house. At least not this year. :-( My husband bought me two presents (Halloween related of course!!) One we have put up and she is beyond creepy!! I have named her Moanica (Monica- MOANica Get it!?)

She is taller than me, I would guess 5ft 8in? Her eyes glow red and she looks REAL. She is standing outside my front door and I keep thinking someone is out there every time I walk by! I will get pictures of the rest of my house tomorrow in the day light. If you are ever in need of Halloween decorations start at your thrift store and let your 10 year old self's imagination go CRAZY! I love that place! I'm going to get clothes to make a new scarecrow also, mine from my last house won't work here. LOVE LOVE LOVE Halloween!

I also cleaned my house today!! Complete shock, I KNOW!!! It looks like we can actually have people come over without them thinking that we live off the floor!! 

My MIL made her appearance (2 hours late but hey she showed up when she told Alicia she would!) She brought over bird feeders for Alicia to watch for birds with.... The first one that she put up hasn't been touched, I haven't seen a bird in my yard in a couple of weeks. Oh well, it will save money by not having to buy bird seed this winter! Alicia loves my MIL and always has fun when she is over. She couldn't stay to carve pumpkins so we will try to knock that out during this already jam packed weekend *YAY* 

Alicia has two days at school next week where she has to dress up for Halloween, naturally she has two different costumes :) I'll post pictures after I have her dressed up on Monday and Tuesday.

Jon and Levi both went to bed at 7, poor hubs, he stayed awake all day from working last night to decorate for Halloween with me and spend time with the kids. He will be feeling it tomorrow for sure!

We bought a (second) park bench this week for our master Halloween decorating plan that includes a zombie jail and the lady selling it was actually liquidating everything that she owned so she can sail the world with her husband and three kids. HOLY CRAP!!! That sounds like fun! We asked when she would be back and she said they won't. It is their new life style. Living on their sail boat, traveling the world. Two daughters are scuba certified and their other wants to be certified in cliff diving so they are starting in New Zealand. 

Today was going so well until the tired monster came and ate Alicia.YIKES, I let her stay awake for 25 minutes so I could finish up here and she has flipped a 180, good lord. Serves me right for trying to write when she is awake. LeSigh.

Soccer, Gender Reveal, Thrift Store, Decorating, Laundry POSSIBLY a Trunk or Treat tomorrow. YIKES It is 8:30 I should go to bed!

-OALOUT

"I'm a little wet"

I promise I thought Alicia would never be potty trained. I think it was when I told her that she couldn't start preschool as a baby that always pees in her clothes that it finally hit her. It was overnight that she would tell me she needed to go potty. All she needed was the first day of school. I wish I had known that earlier, would have saved a million stickers all over my house, tons of dollar tree toy bribes, stuffed animals, candy. I am not beneath bribing my kids!!

Now we go back and forth with nighttime accidents she can go days or weeks without having one, and all of a sudden its every night twice a night. Her newest thing is "holding it like a big girl." That is all she wants to be. BIG. Alicia now wants to keep playing like the big kids and pees a little. Naturally she doesn't want me to be upset so she runs over and says, "Mommy, it's okay, but, I'm a little wet." This would be fine except the face she makes when she says it. It takes every ounce of strength for me not to bust out laughing. The majority of the time we are at home no problem, change her clothes if need be and she is done. I have stopped bringing her a spare change of clothing in public (mean mommy I know) so if she is "a little wet" we leave. If we are out playing, shopping, the park, friends house. We leave. That has solved that problem :) NOW if I could only leave our house when she pees at home! 

I am scared of starting to potty train Levi. I hear boys are harder, especially since I don't have the same "equipment." Maybe I'll start now, and buy stock in my favorite wine.

-OALOUT

Adult Conversation!!

Today we had our "monthly" mommy meet up with my amazing SAHM friends!! It is always a fresh breath of air to be able to talk to other moms who know exactly what you deal with all day. It was a pleasure to see everyone and their adorable kids! My kids behaved remarkably well!

I have come to find out that my kids are easier for me when it is only me if that makes any sense at all. Yes they drive me beyond crazy, but they are use to it being just us so when someone comes over they want to show off and not listen even more so then normal. Alicia starts becoming a bad listener right before Jon wakes up for the day which puts me in a bad mood since she has usually been good all day up until that point.

I am now debating on where I should send her to Junior PreK next year. If I should put her in our school district or keep her in the school she is in now. Decisions decisions!

I have a busy busy weekend coming up with lots of stuff to do with the kids. FINALLY decorating for Halloween on Friday, also carving pumpkins (MIL may drop by, I got a heads up for that one!) Saturday we have a soccer game, a baby gender reveal party, I'm signing up for my basketball location, Sunday we have church and I'm completely sure I've forgotten something I just don't have my calender in my bed with me.

As Halloween approached I miss my dad more and more. Halloween was his favorite time of year and it is mine also. I always try to decorate to the point that my dad would tell me how awesome I am for making my house the coolest on the block. (May post pictures if I still have anyone reading this!)

-OALOUT

Who Ya' gonna call?

I hate days that my husband takes off work that I don't get to spend any time with him. My husband is a man of many hobbies, some that I like, some that I can tolerate, others that I hate. Today he took off work so he could go play around in a graveyard to see if he could get any recordings of people beyond the grave. This is one that I tolerate... It completely freaks me the eff out to be honest. I always feel like someone is watching me, I get goosebumps so often in the dark I sleep with a night light on now. I have had someone sit on me in the middle of the night, grab my foot and scream "God I hate you" in my face. There are plenty more that I could list but its 830, its dark in my house and I'll never go to sleep if I keep on talking. Needless to say, I'd rather him stay away from the graveyards and not bring anything or one home. I just called him to see when he would be home and he said he was staying a bit longer and not to wait up. Yay another night off without seeing him. 

I have loads more about today, you could ask my sister. She was here when I was trying to get my kids to eat dinner. :( 

I am beyond exhausted tonight. 

-OALOUT

Aftershock

Whew, today is over! THANK THE LORD! No I'm halfway kidding. Today went by really smoothly compared to my nightmare yesterday, with one hiccup. Remember my mother in law stopping by unannounced? Well she invited herself over for today to have lunch with me and the kids. Husband wasn't invited of course since he needed to sleep for work tonight. 

We get in the car and she decides that we need to buy pumpkins for the kids... a task that we were going to do as a family on Friday but what the hell why not. Jon can't get mad since it is HIS mom's idea right?!
Well I ask where she wants to begin, she says Lowes... because they always have a huge selection of pumpkins. Okay, sure lets go. We drive to Lowes, unload two kids, walk around, there isn't a pumpkin in sight. We ask a guy in the garden section and he says they have been out of pumpkins for two weeks and we should try somewhere else. Ugh, Ok fine. She decides that Target should be our next adventure. Works for me, load up two kids drive down the road to Target. Go in, they have 7 pumpkins left in the entire store. You know, the "pretty ones." We buy two, however Alicia needs a small pumpkin for preschool. Not the ridiculously tiny, so small it can fit in your hand ones, the one the size of her head. Well Target didn't have any, because they now only had 5 pumpkins that were not in our cart. I told MIL that I would go get her pumpkin later and that we can go to eat, but of course "Naw don't be silly we are already out" Alicia is hungry, Alicia wins. We load up two kids, I say Raising Canes, Alicia says IHOP, Alicia wins. Sure why not. We eat, finish, load up two kids, we discuss Walmart, Drive there, Unload two kids, we find the effing mother-load of pumpkins. ((I want to bash my face on the cart at this point I am so over shopping. I hate shopping with a passion I was DONE DONE DONE and very sad that we didn't come here to begin with.)) We decide on Alicia's pumpkin. Crap now we need candles. We hike across WallyWorld to the Home Living section, because I'm wrong and they are suppose to be in the cosmetic section.... ah hem... nope found in Home Living where I said they would be. Check out, load up two kids. MIL is exhausted from hauling my kids shopping for 3 1/2 hours, (whowuddathunk) and she goes home. It is now 6 and I have an hour to get the kids in a fantastic mood(Kidding), and dinner on the table. I made it! Hubs walks down the stairs as dinner is ready!!

No wine needed today, Wanted, but not needed. OH! I went to ALL of those stores and didn't buy toilet paper at any of them. FACEPALM. 

So the aftershock of a suprise MIL visit results in a lunchdate/shopping experience of the week.

-OALOUT

Introduction

To begin, I am not an alcoholic. I don't condone alcoholism it is a very serious disease, but I do know that if you are reading this, there has probably been a time where your kids have driven you bat shit crazy and you asked WHERE IS MY WINE!?!?

Today I decided to post what I felt for a few reasons.
1. My kids drove me crazy.
2. My husband works over nights.
3. I needed my damn wine.

I am a 26 year old Stay at home mom (SAHM) and will hit my "One year on the job" next month. I have been married for 4 1/2 years and couldn't have asked for a better father for my children. You will learn more about me the more I write.

(1) I have a 10 month old that has been clingy and sleepy the past week so he won't leave my side long enough for me to pee and wash my hands by myself. I have the afternoon with a sweet and cuddly Levi. We made lunch, did laundry and I caught up on season 9 of Grey's Anatomy. (DON'T YOU SPOIL THIS CURRENT SEASON FOR ME I WILL ROB YOU OF YOUR WINE!!)  Levi went down for a nap, I did more laundry and washed the dishes. Levi woke up and we played. Today my mom was amazing and took my three year old Alicia after church to play at her house. She brought her home at 3, didn't have a nap. (Don't get me wrong I am very thankful for the break!) So I have a clingy son and a cranky 3 year old that are demanding different things from me at the same time. When Alicia is cranky nothing goes right. She is thirsty. I give her water she wants milk, I give her milk she wants chocolate milk. She wants a snack, I give her yogurt and she wants applesauce. I give her applesauce and she wants raisins. I could keep going on about this 15 minute discussion on what she wanted but I'll spare you the rest. Meanwhile Levi that is learning to throw temper tantrums is beyond pissed that I have placed him on the floor to do all of this for his older sister. They both get food in their bellies and the playing begins. Levi pulls Alicia's hair, she screams and pushes him over, he hits his head on the table and screams bloody murder, I calm them both down get them both distracted and start cleaning up before my husband wakes up. (2.) My husband works overnights. His shift is from 9pm-5am. He gets home at 5:30 goes to bed anywhere from 8-10 am and wakes up at 7pm. Well tonight he wakes up, Alicia is pissed because she had to sit in the corner for not listening she is screaming for her Daddy. Levi is crying because he is beyond tired. My husband, Jon, walks down the stairs and someone knocks on the damn door. So two crying kids, now two dogs going absolutely ape shit at my door, stressed out mommy and a half asleep daddy. (Hope you are still with me!) I throw my dogs to the other side of the room (I swear I didn't but I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to) I get to the door, open it and its my Mother in Law. ((Insert a "are you fucking kidding me" face here)) I love unexpected visits from her. They are my favorite. I am now to the point of taking the dogs outside to use the bathroom so I don't explode on her for stopping by uninvited. I have ONE HOUR with my husband before he goes to work. That INCLUDES dinner time. Well dinner went out the window with her there so he has to leave even earlier so he could stop on his way to work. My one hour went to 30 minutes. He left, I still had to feed and bathe my children. No big deal, except giving Levi a bath is a two person job as he thrashes about like I'm burning him with a hot coal. Get him washed and dried, bottle and bed. "Easy" Alicia LOVES baths. Getting her out is the hard part. I get her out, she is mad, I dry her off, she is mad that I spiked her hair when I dried it with a towel. I brush her hair and her teeth and into her bed. She "reads" her story. I read her story. She wants her blanket shaken, she wants all 12454256542625470 stuffed animals in her bed. She forgot to pee, she needs to pee again, she can't pee, she wants to tell me a secret, she wants to go to the zoo, she wants to find a pumpkin, she wants to see the elephants, she sees my laptop out and wants to help, she is mad that I don't need her help, she wants to read it, she wants to type, and an hour after all of the excuses have run out she is PTFO in her bed.

(3.) I forgot to mention that my dinner was eaten by my dogs when I went to fill up Alicia's drink. So I'm sitting in my bed eating Crackers and cheese from a can sipping on my wine.

I prayed for patience a lot as a teen/young adult. Well I wish I hadn't because I have an opportunity every single day to practice it.

-OALOUT