Sunday, October 20, 2013


To begin, I am not an alcoholic. I don't condone alcoholism it is a very serious disease, but I do know that if you are reading this, there has probably been a time where your kids have driven you bat shit crazy and you asked WHERE IS MY WINE!?!?

Today I decided to post what I felt for a few reasons.
1. My kids drove me crazy.
2. My husband works over nights.
3. I needed my damn wine.

I am a 26 year old Stay at home mom (SAHM) and will hit my "One year on the job" next month. I have been married for 4 1/2 years and couldn't have asked for a better father for my children. You will learn more about me the more I write.

(1) I have a 10 month old that has been clingy and sleepy the past week so he won't leave my side long enough for me to pee and wash my hands by myself. I have the afternoon with a sweet and cuddly Levi. We made lunch, did laundry and I caught up on season 9 of Grey's Anatomy. (DON'T YOU SPOIL THIS CURRENT SEASON FOR ME I WILL ROB YOU OF YOUR WINE!!)  Levi went down for a nap, I did more laundry and washed the dishes. Levi woke up and we played. Today my mom was amazing and took my three year old Alicia after church to play at her house. She brought her home at 3, didn't have a nap. (Don't get me wrong I am very thankful for the break!) So I have a clingy son and a cranky 3 year old that are demanding different things from me at the same time. When Alicia is cranky nothing goes right. She is thirsty. I give her water she wants milk, I give her milk she wants chocolate milk. She wants a snack, I give her yogurt and she wants applesauce. I give her applesauce and she wants raisins. I could keep going on about this 15 minute discussion on what she wanted but I'll spare you the rest. Meanwhile Levi that is learning to throw temper tantrums is beyond pissed that I have placed him on the floor to do all of this for his older sister. They both get food in their bellies and the playing begins. Levi pulls Alicia's hair, she screams and pushes him over, he hits his head on the table and screams bloody murder, I calm them both down get them both distracted and start cleaning up before my husband wakes up. (2.) My husband works overnights. His shift is from 9pm-5am. He gets home at 5:30 goes to bed anywhere from 8-10 am and wakes up at 7pm. Well tonight he wakes up, Alicia is pissed because she had to sit in the corner for not listening she is screaming for her Daddy. Levi is crying because he is beyond tired. My husband, Jon, walks down the stairs and someone knocks on the damn door. So two crying kids, now two dogs going absolutely ape shit at my door, stressed out mommy and a half asleep daddy. (Hope you are still with me!) I throw my dogs to the other side of the room (I swear I didn't but I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to) I get to the door, open it and its my Mother in Law. ((Insert a "are you fucking kidding me" face here)) I love unexpected visits from her. They are my favorite. I am now to the point of taking the dogs outside to use the bathroom so I don't explode on her for stopping by uninvited. I have ONE HOUR with my husband before he goes to work. That INCLUDES dinner time. Well dinner went out the window with her there so he has to leave even earlier so he could stop on his way to work. My one hour went to 30 minutes. He left, I still had to feed and bathe my children. No big deal, except giving Levi a bath is a two person job as he thrashes about like I'm burning him with a hot coal. Get him washed and dried, bottle and bed. "Easy" Alicia LOVES baths. Getting her out is the hard part. I get her out, she is mad, I dry her off, she is mad that I spiked her hair when I dried it with a towel. I brush her hair and her teeth and into her bed. She "reads" her story. I read her story. She wants her blanket shaken, she wants all 12454256542625470 stuffed animals in her bed. She forgot to pee, she needs to pee again, she can't pee, she wants to tell me a secret, she wants to go to the zoo, she wants to find a pumpkin, she wants to see the elephants, she sees my laptop out and wants to help, she is mad that I don't need her help, she wants to read it, she wants to type, and an hour after all of the excuses have run out she is PTFO in her bed.

(3.) I forgot to mention that my dinner was eaten by my dogs when I went to fill up Alicia's drink. So I'm sitting in my bed eating Crackers and cheese from a can sipping on my wine.

I prayed for patience a lot as a teen/young adult. Well I wish I hadn't because I have an opportunity every single day to practice it.


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